Caffeinated Worms

I started putting coffee grounds into my compost heap;
Anticipated caffeinated worms.
They all were wired and jittery and wouldn’t go to sleep;
My animated, agitated …
Worms, worms, caffeinated worms.
I’ve contemplated and created terms;
Terms, terms, all about my worms,
My agitated, caffeinated worms.

Now, caffeine’s diuretic, so they worked up quite a thirst.
My dessicated, dehydrated worms.
I gave ‘em cans of Pepsi ‘till I swore I thought they’d burst.
Saturated, carbonated …
Worms, worms, caffeinated worms.
I’ve innovated complicated terms;
Terms, terms, all about my worms,
My carbonated, dehydrated, agitated, caffeinated worms.

I called my veterinarian, said “give ‘em all their shots.”
Inoculated, vaccinated worms.
Then filled out my 1040 and I claimed ‘em all as tots;
Fraud-related, tax-evaded …
Worms, worms, caffeinated worms.
I’ve concentrated as I’ve stated terms;
Terms, terms, all about my worms,
My tax-evaded, vaccinated, carbonated, dehydrated, agitated, caffeinated worms.

I took my trusty pitchfork and I turned over their pile;
And excavated perforated worms.
They crawled down to the churchyard and they tunneled there a while;
Those venerated, consecrated …
Worms, worms, caffeinated worms.
Concatenated variegated terms;
Terms, terms, all about my worms,
My consecrated, perforated, tax-evaded, vaccinated, carbonated, dehydrated, agitated, caffeinated worms.

They threw a late-night party; woke the neighbors with their sound.
Inebriated, strangely hated worms.
Some guy came to my yard and he spread cyanide around!
Now they’re late
And lie in state
‘Cause some ingrate
Assassinat…ed
Worms

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