Why Does That Make Me So Strange?


To the tune of "Rum by Gum" aka "Temperance Union"

[Verses that apply to me]

I went to the playgroup, a good little mom,
The other moms met me, said 'Glad you could come.'
While kids played we sat down to gossip and chat,
I pulled out my sewing, they said "What is that?"

I sew medieval tapestries,
Tapestries, tapestries
I sew medieval tapestries
So why does that make me so strange?

The next week I brought something much more mundane,
I'm hemming a skirt, now they'll think that I'm sane,
Alas, it's not working, by fabric betrayed!
Most moms* don't go wearing nine yards of brocade.

I wear full skirts and peasant shirts
Peasant shirts, peasant shirts
I wear full skirts and peasant shirts
So why does that make me so strange?

I gave up on sewing it set me apart,
The next week I brought out a little bead art.
"So you make bead creatures, what cute little things!
But why are you making green lizards with wings?"

I like dragons and unicorns, etc.

I gave up on handwork**, it's just not in style
I thought that instead I would sing for a while
'Bout half way through "Argo" I lifted my head
Their eyes had popped out and their faces were red.

I sing filk songs and parodies, etc.

The next week I just brought a book I could read
I thought I'd stay mute, and they'd pay me no heed,
But it seems it isn't quite normal or right
To read a text book when no teacher's in sight

I read science and history, etc.

So maybe a novel will gain me some ground,
I'll carefully pick one that ISN'T hard-bound
Oops, it seems Tolkien has got a bad name
They teach him at college now-- Man, what a shame!

I like sci-fi and fantasy, etc.

Vacation was coming, as everyone knew
They knew I was planning just what I would do
"So Disneyland? Vegas? What cruise are you on?"
"Get real! Like I'd miss out on this year's Worldcon!"

I like to go to SF cons,
SF cons, SF cons
I like to go to SF cons,
So why does that make me so strange?

[Additional Verses]

[Alternate starting verse.]
The management's latest is called "Tuesday Lunch"
To promote team spirit we eat in a bunch
I bolted my munchies, pulled my notebook out
The rest watched me scribble with eyes full of doubt

I write fanfic in my spare time,
My spare time, my spare time
I write fanfic in my spare time,
So why does that make me so strange?

[Alternate choruses for Alternate starting verse.]
I write novels in my spare time, etc
I draw dragons and unicorns, etc
I draw space ships and robo-tanks, etc

The next week I worked on my zine's latest ish
Fran smiled just as friendly as any could wish
"You're writing a newsletter, I do that too...
"But which of your family is named Cuh..thu..loo?"

I pub a fan-zine bimonthly, etc.

The talk turned to fitness, the best sports to do
They looked at me, asked me, "Well, how about you?
Tell us all truly, what's your best workout?"
"I dress up in armor and wave swords about."

My fav'rite sport is archery, etc.
* possible alternates to "moms" would be "folk", "fems", and "girls".
(Not that I'm suggesting that guys can't sew costumes,
but all the ones I know who do wouldn't assume that mundanes would consider them sane,
no matter WHAT kind of sewing project they were working on.) : )

** when mixing and matching verses change "handwork" to "writing,"
or whatever else matches the previous verse.

Copyright © 2000 Michelle Bottorff

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