Never Set the Cake on Fire

Copyright 1999, 2000 by Nyani-Iisha Faudel Martin
ttto: Never Set the Cat on Fire, by Frank Hayes

 

Don't ever set the cake on fire; you only will destroy it.
If fancy desserts you require, glaze custard and then broil it.
Or bake a pie heaped high with fruit, or just serve icecream, you galoot;
Don't ever set the cake on fire.

   And measure neatly, for all the servings you require,
   And never set the cake on fire.

Don't ever be a lobster's cook, though shellfish ne'er was sweeter;
Its dying agonizing shrieks Will draw the wrath of PETA;
You'll feel like something from a gutter, nor even taste the melted butter;
Don't ever be a lobster's cook.

   And measure neatly, for all the servings you require,
   And never set the cake on fire.

Be careful when you make some bread; the secret's in the timing.
Leave it bubbling much too long, you'll find it curtains climbing,
And if you let the yeasties die, your bread will bake up flat and dry;
Be careful when you make some bread.

   And measure neatly, for all the servings you require,
   And never set the cake on fire.

Beware of cooking whole roast beast; It's rather atavistic.
Although some say it's easy, neat, On flavors waxing mystic,
The beast will stare with its bright eye; You'll swear that it's about to sigh;
Beware of cooking whole roast beast.

   And measure neatly, for all the servings you require,
   And never set the cake on fire.